not a real conversation


[OBAMA]: Hey, there, Dave?

[CAMERON]: Yes, Barry?

[OBAMA]: Well, remember how we talked on the phone last night?

[CAMERON]: What, about the problems of running a coalition government?

[OBAMA]: No, no, not that.

[CAMERON]: About how Michelle is really into this White House garden and won’t let you have any more chicken wings, because you can’t grow blue cheese dressing in a 10×40 plot?

[OBAMA]: Um. Yeah, that is pretty much a bummer. But no, not that. The [ahem] other thing?

[CAMERON]: Oooooohhhh. You mean being the subject of a lot of marginally creepy real person slash fiction? Even though, let’s be honest with ourselves here, I kind of look like Robert Patrick but made out of Silly Putty? Nick Though Clegg is kind of dreamy…

[OBAMA]: Whoa, buddy, hold up there!

[CAMERON]: This isn’t a problem for you?

[OBAMA]: Um. Erm. Uh, no?

[CAMERON]: No Bobama? Obiden?

[OBAMA]: What?

[CAMERON]: Sorry. Beg pardon. You were saying?

[OBAMA]: When I said, “Why don’t we both wear black suits, white shirts, and royal blue ties?”

[CAMERON]: Great idea, Barry. We do look smashing.

[OBAMA]: Sure, sure. But…Dave? I didn’t actually mean it.

[CAMERON]: Wait, you didn’t want us to match?

[OBAMA]: Well, no. We decided, if you recall, that I would wear the blue and you the red. Now we kind look like preteen girls who also wear BFF necklaces.

[CAMERON]: Indeed. Well this is rather embarrassing.

[OBAMA]: Yeah, a bit.

[CAMERON]: Shall I put my jacket back on?

[OBAMA]: You do that. And have an aide bring you that red tie, okay?

[CAMERON]: Right. Shall I have them bring us some wings, as well?

[OBAMA]: Done.

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