Tag Archives: media

a sprinkle of blogging meta (plus, bad tv)

Hello, internet. I am trying my damnedest to make blog place of insightful commentary and thoughtful squee, rather than just mindless ranting OR celebrity bullshit. I love superficial crap as much as the next girl, but there are limits.

Conversation with self: “Erin, you should try to post meaningful and insightful things, or stuff that inspires you. Like Amy Poehler’s Smart Girls at the Party.” — “Yes, self, but it is really fun to talk about wretched overproduced reality television, too.” — “No one wants to read about that.” — “Maybe not, but you’ve intellectualized yourself into a corner. You can’t talk about Deleuze and Freud and virtual Horcruxes in a way that is legitimately funny.” — “It is funny, I promise.” — “It’s so not, you just look like you’re showing off.”

Find more videos like this on Smart Girls at the Party

I debated for about twenty minutes the other day whether or not I was going to be the kind of blogger that posted things involving Taylor Swift.* I also expressed an interest to Lemondrop.com in writing for them, and sent them links to this selfsame blog, with the attached caveat, “I’m sure I can reign in the swearing.”**

For me, I’m going to hazard a guess that the Kardashians are perhaps my personal tipping point. Everything else is fair game. Unless, and this is a crucial exception, they are featured for whatever reason on MTV’s Styl’d again. We all know I am a resolute populist when it comes to television entertainment (Ru-Paul’s Drag Race? Ice Road Truckers? Bring it.)– even to the point of watching a show whose title is not only missing a totally necessary ‘E’ but is, very likely, not even actually a legitimate word. (Is this meant to echo Punk’d? Why would you want that? Put the ‘E’ back in, dickweeds. Ahem.)

But you know who was awesome on Show Whose Name Really Warrants Another Letter? Jen Rade, that’s who. She made me so happy, all skinny and mental and competent and a total hard ass.

Here she is debating the merits of cleave with Kim K. I love her so much that I will overlook her painful reliance on the horrid neologism “s-etiquette.” (One’s etiquette on set– not looking the talent directly in the eye or flirting with the models, I guess?) Why? Because she was one of only three white people at Snoop Dogg’s wedding (SO JEALOUS), and used to style all those weird 90s R&B groups (Bell Biv Devoe, anyone? Boyz II Men?).

I will leave you with this picture of Snoop. Because, awesome. And then I will go watch the season premiere of Weeds.

*Tentative answer — not right now. Will mention that she is definitely kitteh, howevs.

**Jury actually still out on this one. Can I do it?

continued fun with excel

continued fun with excel

why we love heathers (found item)

A repost from my lovely friends over at Found Item Clothing. Be a pal. Buy a shirt!

Oh, the fucking humanity.

Jawbreaker. Mean Girls. The Sleepover. The Craft. Every bad girl subplot on Gossip Girl. None even come close to the dark surreality of Heathers, a movie that, to this day, no one will watch with me. Because at one point in my life — let’s say 1992 for convenience — I seriously watched this movie at least twice a week. It was in constant rotation for a while, along with Grease, Rock n’ Roll High School, and Barton Fink. Make of that what you will, and join me as I revisit a film that deserves a revival. (But, please, sweet baby Jesus, not a wretched remake.) Here then are 33 reasons why we love said film (arranged, conveniently enough, in the order they appear on screen, with one exception…).

1. SCRUNCHIES!!!! Nuff’ said.

2. Serious contouring blush. Look at Shannen Doherty in that opening croquet scene.

3. Why did “you’re beautiful” as an insult never catch on? It’s sort of spectacular (at 3:25).

4. Winona Ryder can’t act for shit, but her eye rolling is pretty epic. See clip above. Or this montage below, which demonstrates that she carries this proclivity with, from role to role.

5. This great slogan tee, which is glimpsed oh so fleetingly. Feeling inadequate? (Click to enlarge)

Sighted at :13 in.

6. Remington University (calling to mind Reynholm Industries of the IT Crowd, and also sounding like an off-brand razor blade).

7. “Greetings and salutations” as an introduction in Christian Slater’s mouth turns that whole E.B. White Charlotte’s Web thing into something wonderfully filthy. Yeowch.

8. “Keggers with kids”– if that hasn’t been a band name yet, it needs to be now (editor’s note: agreed, wholeheartedly!).

Skip forward to 5:55.

9. Cornnuts. Remember the ranch ones? Amazing. And yet terrifying.

10. “You were a bluebird. You were a brownie. You were a Girl Scout cookie.” Burn, baby, burn.

Watch it at 3:48.

11. The bizarre twangy music that plays whenever CS goes into ‘bad boy mode.’

Editor’s note: not to be confused with:

12. Oh, a teachers’ meeting where everyone is smoking? Awesome. (Skip ahead to the 6:35 marker.)

13. Swatches. Like that would help you accessorize for shit? Right.

14. Dougherty is just reveling in getting to play the head bitch. I mean, she is downright gleeful.

15. The MTV-Video-Games. And that righteous dude in heaven.

16. Cow tipping. I’m entirely sure that this is what teenagers in bumfuck Ohio do, even now.

17. “Sorry, I’m just feeling a little superior tonight.”

18. Mineral water = being gay. At least in 1991, it seems.

19. Who has a three way at dawn in the woods? Can’t you at least rent a motel room or something?

20. Okay, I kind of only now realized that WR wears a monocle when she writes in her diary. Where do you even get a monocle in central Ohio in 1991, in the days before the interwebs and Amazon? And what kind of an asshole do you have to be to wear it?

21. Actually, maybe Madonna’s Express Yourself video inspired that monocle. That would make sense.

22. Very true-to-life representation of Midwesterners’ addiction to 64-ounce beverages. So, so true.

23. “Adults? You want to be treated like adults, little miss voice-of-a-generation? Just how exactly do you think adults act with other adults? Do you think it’s all just a game of doubles tennis? When teenagers complain that they want to be treated like they’re human beings, it’s usually because they are being treated like human beings.” (Veronica’s mom, voice of reason, yo.)

Editor’s note: found at the 6:00 minute mark, yo.

24. Hot Probs. I would so listen to that shit. (7:45)

25. Good lord, how big is Westerberg High? Getting those signatures must have taken ages. (Fun fact: so-named for Paul Westerberg, legendary troubadour for the equally legendary 80’s punk-rock icons, The Replacements. Also: absolutely LOVE that the school’s mascot are… Rottweilers? How unconventional, and befitting of a world class fad.)

26. “I’ve already started underlining meaningful passages in her copy of Moby Dick, if you know what I mean.” (Slater’s delivery at 4:31 just fucking slays me.)

27. Es. ki. mo.

28. Noose too loose. Wasn’t that a rejected Dr. Seuss spin-off series?

29. No one ever enjoyed a pep rally that much and that sincerely. This is severely lacking in verisimilitude. I take back every good thing I have ever said about this movie.

30. Whoa, what’s with that totally out-of-character move to a belief in heaven? No.

31. Reading comments on YouTube is almost always a bad idea. But this whole generation who hasn’t seen Heathers astounds me. This movie was such an integral (read: intensely formative) part of my early teen years that I can’t imagine not having mental access to it. Poor kids. No one got blown up in Mean Girls.

32. Slater’s death is pretty vile, but ultimately worth it for the gorgeous pull-back shot of Veronica all charred like a piece of kindling and smoking on the concrete gym steps. HAWT!

33. And last, but not least, the BIG FUN tee shirt, which we added to the Found Item catalog just last week!

On screen at 4:26.

Whew. That was a mouthful…

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pep talks, continued

Perhaps not a pep talk in the Hoosiers sense, but the St. Crispin’s day speech from Shakespeare’s Henry V must be included in this round-up. I’m not inclined to follow anyone into battle, but if you’re gonna die for God and king and country, this is a nice send-off, I suppose.

Here’s the Kenneth Branagh version, when he was still exceedingly fresh-faced and young. He really should have done his Hamlet when he was still this age, rather than like, 45.

My favorite Branagh film is, of course, Much Ado about Nothing, which manages to be miraculous, wonderfully acted, and simply beautiful to look at all at the same time.*  It remains so to this day, despite the super jarring presence of Keanu Reeves, who, really… what? I know he was a big deal back in the 1990s, but a convincing conniving villain he does not make.**

*Can I just add, these are scored SO WELL. Epic, for reals.

**Yesterday I read in Time Out that there is an interactive staging of Point Break taking place in Chicago, where the Keanu Reeves role is played nightly by a different audience member.

Called “hilarious” by Variety and “uproarious” by the Los Angeles Times, Point Break LIVE! tells the story of former College-football-star-turned-FBI-agent, Johnny Utah, in pursuit of the surfing, bank robbing, skydiving, bare-hand-fighting adrenaline-junkie-cum-Zen-master Bodhi Sattva. In Point Break LIVE! the lead role of Johnny Utah is played by an audience member. Anyone can volunteer and step up to the challenge of a grueling (meaning fairly ridiculous) audition process. Using the latest in Applause-o-Meter technology, the winner is chosen by the audience and goes on to star as action hero Johnny Utah for the night, reading all the lines off of cue cards. This method really catches the essential rawness of Keanu Reeves’ acting style. When the action bursts out onto the street, the audience can keep track of it via a real-time feed from the Keanu Kam. At the end of the show, the “volunteer Keanu” is handed a VHS tape of his or her performance.

This sounds AMAZING. And I think going to see it would be the perfect tribute to Patrick Swayze, no? Who’s in?

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not a real coversation


[OBAMA]: Hey, there, Dave?

[CAMERON]: Yes, Barry?

[OBAMA]: Well, remember how we talked on the phone last night?

[CAMERON]: What, about the problems of running a coalition government?

[OBAMA]: No, no, not that.

[CAMERON]: About how Michelle is really into this White House garden and won’t let you have any more chicken wings, because you can’t grow blue cheese dressing in a 10×40 plot?

[OBAMA]: Um. Yeah, that is pretty much a bummer. But no, not that. The [ahem] other thing?

[CAMERON]: Oooooohhhh. You mean being the subject of a lot of marginally creepy real person slash fiction? Even though, let’s be honest with ourselves here, I kind of look like Robert Patrick but made out of Silly Putty? Though Nick Clegg is kind of dreamy…

[OBAMA]: Whoa, buddy, hold up there!

[CAMERON]: This isn’t a problem for you?

[OBAMA]: Um. Erm. Uh, no?

[CAMERON]: No Bobama? Obiden?

[OBAMA]: What?

[CAMERON]: Sorry. Beg pardon. You were saying?

[OBAMA]: When I said, “Why don’t we both wear black suits, white shirts, and royal blue ties?”

[CAMERON]: Great idea, Barry. We do look smashing.

[OBAMA]: Sure, sure. But…Dave? I didn’t actually mean it.

[CAMERON]: Wait, you didn’t want us to match?

[OBAMA]: Well, no. We decided, if you recall, that I would wear the blue and you the red. Now we kind look like preteen girls who also wear BFF necklaces.

[CAMERON]: Indeed. Well this is rather embarrassing.

[OBAMA]: Yeah, a bit.

[CAMERON]: Shall I put my jacket back on?

[OBAMA]: You do that. And have an aide bring you that red tie, okay?

[CAMERON]: Right. Shall I have them bring us some wings, as well?

[OBAMA]: Done.

emoticons what someone else made

Tired of smiley faces and hearts? Try one of these!

12 Emoticons for the Advanced Writer

From here.

Have you ever been overcome with an emotion but unable to find the right emoticon to express yourself?  The answer is yes.  And I’m going to help you.

*:0 = “MY FACE IS ON FIRE!!!!”

!,! =  “Hi.  I am a rabbit”

% = “I feel like I am a mosquito looking directly at you.”

|:( = “I am displeased with my unibrow.”

<:( = “Pointy hats make me sad.”

😡 = “Now my hat is upside-down and I don’t feel any better about it.”

(::::) = “I feel like I am the underside of a pregnant dog.”


:*( = “You make me cry sparkly tears.”

{:| = “I am a Frenchman.”

Q:| = “I’m Davy fucking Crockett.”

:$ = “I am trying to look unimpressed, but someone drew a squiggly mouth over my real mouth and this must be terribly confusing for you.  I am sorry.”

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